Hi, I’m Cathy.
Relational Lover.
Communication Junkie.
Connection Cultivator.
I’m continuously in wonderment about the complexities of being human and how there’s as many perspectives as there are people on the planet!
I’m deeply passionate about helping people move beyond their limitations in order to enjoy the deliciousness of the full buffet of connection and love!
I’m a certified RLT (Relational Life Therapy) coach and a long time Circling Method Facilitator as well as an avid student of LIFE. I use all the tools to guide others in long-lasting relational transformation.
It’s time for us to step into the highest versions of ourselves through our relationships and create a better, more connected, loving world.
My Story
Growing up in South Africa in the 70’s and 80’s as a white South African girl born from British descent created just the right conditions for me to feel all kinds of mixed up emotionally and ethically.
I remember feeling deeply uncomfortable with the hypocrisies around me. The adult maid and gardener calling me “madam” at a very early age even though they were my seniors. The white oppressive government claimed to be religious while 75% of their people were treated like second class citizens.
In addition, I grew up in a household where the persona of the family seemed more important that how we actually felt. We were given extremely narrow guidelines on the “right” way to live and act. God forbid anyone should communicate or speak to the elephant in the room! Instead, we were shown how to tiptoe around issues and demonstrate passive aggressive behaviors to express upset and never ask directly for what was needed.
At home there was often tension - a drama triangle between my mom, dad and oldest brother. Everyone was doing their best and as a young, sensitive girl, I was feeling all of it. I couldn’t understand why we weren’t having helpful and heartfelt conversations. Surely there was a more loving, less toxic way to handle all this? In my young body I longed for harmony and peace. I longed for love and understanding - not only with my family, but for all people.I could see a world where people could sit across from each other and find their shared human experience.
The path of my life had an abrupt change when my parents decided to take an opportunity to move to the US in ‘87. At the age of 15 I went from the height of apartheid and all the aforementioned tensions, to a privileged suburban highschool in Rochester, NY. No one was discussing politics and they definitely had no idea about what my life back in South Africa was like let alone the political and racial climate. I had to very quickly bury all that angst and shift my attention toward fitting in and making friends in this totally foreign environment.
Fast forward post college- without realizing it, I continued on a path that ultimately was searching for freedom from both the restraints of my past and from the pain of disharmony and disconnection that I experienced.. I studied Dance, Somatics, Bodywork, Communication technologies, relationship dynamics work and while I was gaining freedom I felt a growing desire to guide others.
I realized that my ability to feel into the unspoken dynamics between either two people or an entire group was a gift. I also realized that a fundamental part of opening our hearts is to first open to ourselves. This was the freedom I was seeking and am continually expanding into. Once I was able to love and accept myself enough I began to be able to hold differences, listen more deeply, share more authentically and ultimately create richer and deeper relationships. This is what I LOVE to guide others in.
Your story may be different but perhaps you too have spent your life not allowing or accepting the parts of you that feel unlovable, unacceptable and simply not okay.
Whether you’re an individual, a couple or a leader in an organization, we’ll spend time understanding where you are in relation to authenticity and connection and how to move to a more thriving relational experience.
We are constantly invited to be who we are.
— Henry David Thoreau